E is for Eternal: Building Marriage with the End in Mind | EPIC Marriage (Part 1 of 4)
Most couples prepare carefully for a wedding day. Very few prepare with the same intensity for an eternal life together. The flowers, cake, and reception all pass quickly. What does not pass so quickly is the long stretch of ordinary days that follow. Those days either shape you into eternal companions or slowly turn you into distant roommates.
That question of “What are we becoming together, and will it last beyond this life?” is at the center of Nick and Alex Leyva’s new four-part EPIC Marriage mini-series. EPIC stands for Eternal, Playful, Intentional, and Christ-centered. As you grow in these four areas, your marriage becomes something you intentionally protect and nurture each day. This is Part 1: E is for Eternal.
Nick and Alex host the Epic Marriage Podcast, where they explore what decades of academic research and modern revelation teach about covenant relationships. Nick studied at BYU’s School of Family Life, one of the leading family science programs in the world. Alex brings the lived experience of a wife and mother raising five children. Together, they refuse to settle for “good enough” when “eternal” is possible.
Marriage as a Learnable Skill
Think of a skill you have spent years developing: your golf swing, a family recipe, your ability to negotiate contracts, or your skill in writing code. You know excellence requires focus, practice, and intentional effort.
Marriage is also a skill. You can learn it and grow in it. But if you only aim for “pretty good” in marriage, you usually land somewhere worse. You slip into being well-scheduled roommates who share a calendar and then act surprised when romance dies somewhere between soccer practice and Costco.
Eternal happiness in marriage is not a vague feeling. It is not positive thinking or “manifesting” good energy. It is a direction and a covenant. It is definitely not the old “endure to the end” slog of misery and pain that you tolerate until you die, hoping everything magically improves after death.
Joseph Smith taught in Doctrine and Covenants section 130 that whatever principle of intelligence we attain in this life will rise with us in the resurrection. Translation: gain intelligence now, and it becomes your advantage later. If you neglect to build your marriage with a celestial plan in mind, you should not be surprised when it cracks under mortal stress.
How the Temple Reveals Eternal Design
The temple does more than invite you to be spiritual. It reveals the architecture of eternity. If you want a marriage that lasts, you must learn that architecture.
When Nick and Alex speak of “eternal marriage,” they are not just talking about staying together for a long time. Eternal points to God’s order and heaven’s structure. It is a relationship built to withstand time, trauma, temptation, money, ego, children, and the occasional emotional meltdown over absolutely nothing or absolutely everything.
A covenant is a binding, sacred commitment with God. President Dallin H. Oaks taught in a recent general conference that "God’s highest blessings are extended to those who promise in advance to keep certain commandments and then keep those promises." A covenant is not participation credit for showing up. It is a pre-commitment tied to God’s highest blessings.
Covenants are made with God the Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, by the power of the Holy Ghost, through authorized priesthood ordinances, and are ratified by what Doctrine and Covenants 132 calls the Holy Spirit of Promise.
When Covenants Do and Do Not Last
Doctrine and Covenants 132:7 teaches that agreements not entered into properly, not sealed, and not ratified by the Holy Spirit of Promise do not endure the way many people assume they will. All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations that lack proper priesthood authority are of no efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection. Any contract that does not aim at this eternal purpose “has an end when men are dead.”
Verse 15–17 clarify this further. If a man marries a wife in this world and does not marry by God or by His word, and covenants with her only for this life, their covenant and marriage do not continue beyond death. Once they leave this life, they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are appointed as angels in heaven. These angels minister to those who are worthy of a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.
These angels did not abide by the law, so they cannot be enlarged but remain separately and singly, without exaltation.
Translation: if you want your marriage to be eternal, it must be established through temple ordinances. You need to be married by priesthood authority in the temple for your marriage to last forever. Strong desire is not enough. Deep love is not enough. Your marriage must be under proper priesthood authority if it is to endure.
Starting with the Celestial End in View
Here is the central anchor of this episode: to have an eternal marriage, you begin with the end in mind. Not the honeymoon. Not the next vacation. The end: celestial life.
Elder Jeremy R. Jaggi taught in a recent conference that as we make and honor covenants, we bind ourselves to the Savior and gain greater access to His mercy, protection, sanctification, healing, and rest. This is not only a duty. It is attachment to Christ that expands your access to His enabling power.
Nick and Alex share a three-part framework:
1. Eternity as the Target. If you do not build with a celestial vision, do not be surprised when your marriage collapses under mortal stress.
2. Eternity as the Standard. Celestial marriage calls for celestial living: order, obedience, sacrifice, consecration, and chastity.
3. Eternity as the Daily System. You do not simply try harder. You live worthy of what you want to last and place your marriage in the Savior’s care so He can endow it with His strengthening power.
This means living in ways that do not come naturally to you. If you feel like marriage is asking a great deal of you, that is a promising sign.
Why Eternal Marriage Requires Changed Behavior
Your marriage should call for supernatural behavior because eternity does not arise naturally in this fallen world. The natural man is an enemy to God. We are spiritual beings living a mortal experience.
Yet people often defend their choices by saying certain behaviors “just come naturally” or that they are “just doing what is natural.” Phrases like “You be you” and “You do you” can become excuses. Real testimony, real experience, and real growth did not come naturally to anyone. Alma teaches us to put off the natural man.
Life in a mortal body means wrestling with lust, greed, temptation, selfishness, and pride. That something feels natural does not make it right. The call is to overcome it.
When Nick and Alex were getting engaged, Nick sold his kiteboard to buy Alex’s ring, the one she wears now. He remembers looking at his kiteboard and thinking, I really want this. Then he thought, I want to marry this girl more. So he chose to let the kiteboard go.
For Nick, that decision was significant. It signaled an identity shift. He needed to make that sacrifice so he could grow into the man he needed to be as a husband.
Now carry that forward. Perhaps you have been married for years. You bought the house. You own some fun toys. Yet your marriage is struggling.
Maybe it is time to sell the boat. Maybe you need to part with the motorcycle. Maybe you should prioritize date night above girls’ night for a season. These are sacrifices of the natural man. What you gain as you put each other first is much greater than anything you give up.
Protecting Time and Core Commitments
Alex has taught group fitness for years. At one point, she was teaching too much. Nick told her it was taking a toll on their relationship.
Alex still teaches, but she had to reevaluate her schedule. She had to let go of some classes and learn to say, “No. I am not available. I cannot be there.” She did not need to quit entirely, but she did need to notice and remove what was stealing time that could have been spent together.
You are talented and capable. The gospel gives you understanding and perspective that many in the world do not have. Guard that.
People will want your attention, time, and effort. As you move through your career and community life, others will see your gifts and try to draw on them.
You must protect your core commitments. You have only so much time to give. After that, you belong to your spouse, your children, and your God. Put those identities first.
A Three-Minute Conversation to Try Tonight
Here is a simple practice to try with your spouse. Sit down and ask three questions:
1. Where did we live our covenants well this week?
2. Where are we drifting emotionally, spiritually, relationally, sexually, and physically? There is always some drift because we are human. Nick and Alex experience this too. Name it.
3. What would a celestial choice look like in one small decision tomorrow?
Then pray together about what you discover. Be honest. God can work with honesty.
Eternity is not built in the clouds. It is built in kitchens, living rooms, minivans, and in the quiet daily decision to bind yourself to the Savior through your covenants. That changes everything.
Without Him, your marriage has little chance of standing in today’s world. With Him, you truly can do all things through Christ.
Looking Ahead: P is for Playful
This is Part 1 of a four-part EPIC Marriage miniseries. Listen to the full conversation on the Epic Marriage Podcast to hear Nick and Alex explain what eternal marriage means, how the temple teaches the architecture of eternity, and how to begin with the end in mind by using the three-part framework of Target, Standard, and Daily System.
Coming next: Part 2, P is for Playful. Marriage can be fun and rejuvenating, not merely endured.
Visit YourEpicMarriage.com for resources created for temple-sealed couples who want their relationship to reflect its eternal significance.
#EternalMarriage #TempleMarriage #EpicMarriage #CovenantMarriage #CelestialMarriage #LatterDaySaints #MarriagePodcast #FaithBasedMarriage
#ThinkCelestial #DC132 #BeginWithTheEndInMind
Follow Epic Marriage:
Website: https://YourEpicMarriage.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/epicmarriageoffical
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@epicmarriage
Comments