Understanding What Actually Holds a Covenant Marriage Together
What does it take to stand offstage while your spouse performs for thousands? To manage logistics for a national tour while running your own company? To pour yourself into someone else's calling without jealousy or resentment? Nick and Alex Leyva host the Epic Marriage Podcast, where they bring together researchers, family scientists, therapists, and couples who have built marriages that last. Jenny Oaks Baker says it plainly within the first few minutes of her conversation on the Epic Marriage Podcast, "It takes a really confident person to be married to me." She's not being arrogant. She's being honest. Jenny is a Grammy-nominated violinist, recording artist, and founder of a nonprofit foundation that presents faith-based performances across the country. Her Christmas tour "Joy to the World" travels to cities from Denver to Orlando to Oakland, drawing thousands of audience members who leave with strengthened testimonies of Jesus Christ. Her father is President Dallin H. Oaks. Her schedule is relentless. Her mission is consuming.
Her husband Matt stands offstage through all of it. Not jealous. Not insecure. Not competing for attention. Just supporting. Matt Baker is a CEO running his own company while simultaneously managing logistics for Jenny's tours and performances. When asked how he divides his time, his answer is simple. He has work, and he has everything he does for Jenny. There's really nothing left. If he wants to see a friend, he meets them at a Red Robin at nine o'clock at night and sits in the car until midnight. That's the space available. A skeptic might call that a prison. Matt calls it a choice. And the choice makes sense when you understand what he's actually supporting.
The Ripple Effect of Supporting Your Spouse
Matt sees beyond the tasks Jenny asks him to complete. Behind every request is a ripple effect that extends far beyond their marriage. When he helps with the Christmas tour, he's supporting their four children who perform alongside Jenny. He's supporting artists flown in from Germany. He's supporting their percussionist Jay Nygar. He's supporting arrangers who create world-class music for the family to play together.
Most importantly, he's supporting thousands of audience members who walk away from each performance with a stronger testimony of Jesus Christ. The billing of the show isn't Jenny Oaks Baker. The billing is Christ. You don't walk away saying you loved the performer. You walk away closer to your Savior. That perspective transforms what could feel like sacrifice into something meaningful. Matt isn't just running errands for his wife. He's participating in a mission that reaches people he'll never meet.
The Framework Behind 27 Years of Love and Loyalty
The Bakers shared four commitments that have anchored their marriage through 27 years together.
Time. Matt explains that their family has always centered on 'PRIORITIZATION.' Work first, play later. But because their work involved music, the whole family stayed unified even during the busiest seasons. They rehearsed together. They performed together. They traveled together. The typical wedge that forms between couples raising young children never grew as wide because their focus on the children kept them physically together.
Choosing Each Other Daily. When asked if they choose each other daily, Matt jokes that Jenny chooses Jenny and he chooses Jenny. The humor lands because there's truth underneath it. Matt has oriented his life around supporting his wife's calling. That's not an obligation. That's a daily choice repeated for nearly three decades.
Loyalty Strengthened by Covenants. Matt offers a warning about covenant keeping in marriage. Sometimes, couples keep covenants just to show their partner they're not keeping theirs. The motivation isn't to build each other up. It's to highlight weakness in the other person. That's the wrong motivation. When you elevate to an eternal perspective, you truly want to support your partner and help them become better. You're not keeping score. You're moving together toward the same destination.
Seeing Marriage as an Eternal Calling. Jenny adds that the temple is the most romantic place on earth. A friend who serves as temple matron in Washington DC told her this because everyone leaves holding hands. When you grow closer to God, you grow closer together. No matter what session you attend, the temple brings unity.
Lessons from President Oaks' Marriage
Alex asks Jenny to share wisdom from her parents' marriage. Jenny's mother died two months after Jenny and Matt were married, so she didn't have the benefit of watching her parents' marriage while navigating her own. But the lessons from childhood stuck. Her father honored her mother at all times. Her mother was completely loyal to her father. She would not say anything negative about him or allow anyone else to. Total loyalty to each other and to the Lord. If her parents had a disagreement, they talked about it right then and there. It was over and done. No holding grudges. No passive aggressiveness. No silent treatment. None of that garbage, as Jenny calls it. If there was an issue, it was immediately brought up and resolved.
Jenny and Matt follow the same pattern. If Jenny has an issue, it's immediate. Then they move on. They don't hold onto things. Matt adds one more observation. When Jenny's mother died, President Oaks stepped into both parental roles despite the weight of his responsibilities in the Quorum of the Twelve. He picked up the slack because Jenny needed him to. He was living the words he preaches about families adapting to different circumstances.
Go to Bed Angry. Just Don't Go to Bed Alone.
Matt closes with counterintuitive advice that might ruffle traditional thinking. The old saying goes, "never go to bed angry." Matt disagrees. If you're fighting at 10 or 11 at night, you're not in a great position to resolve anything. You're tired. You're hungry. You're spinning in a downward spiral. Go to bed angry. Wake up, and most of the time, whatever you were dealing with is already gone. Your body needed rest, not another hour of circular argument.
But Jenny adds an important caveat. Sleep in the same bed no matter what. Once or twice in their marriage, Matt was upset and slept somewhere else. It was devastating. She felt abandoned. It made everything harder to resolve in the morning. If you go to bed mad but wake up next to each other, you can turn around and say sorry. It's so much easier than dealing with the additional hurt of being left alone. Go to bed angry if you need to. Just don't go to bed alone.
Building Something Beautiful Together
The Bakers model what it looks like to honor individual callings while building an eternal partnership. Jenny performs on stages across the country. Matt runs a company and manages tour logistics from behind the scenes. Their four children have become professional musicians who return each Christmas to perform as a family.
None of it happened by accident. It happened through daily prioritization, mutual support, covenant loyalty, and an eternal perspective that kept them moving together instead of apart. Their 27 years prove that confidence, loyalty, and choosing each other daily create marriages that last. And when Christ is the billing, not the performer, everyone leaves holding hands.
Listen to the full conversation with Jenny Oaks Baker and Matt Baker on the Epic Marriage Podcast. Visit YourEpicMarriage.com for resources designed specifically for temple-sealed couples who want their relationship to reflect the eternal significance it carries.
#EpicMarriage #TempleMarriage #LatterDaySaints #CovenantRelationship #MarriageSuccess #EternalMarriage #FamilyLife #MarriagePodcast #MarriageAdvice #CovenantCouples #FaithfulMarriage #JennyOaksBaker #ChristmasMusic #FamilyFour #RaisingChildreninMusic
Follow Epic Marriage: Website, Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube
Follow Jenny Oaks Baker: Website, Facebook, Instagram, Apple Music, YouTube
Comments